Look before you leap. 1912.

After the insanely cute Dumb Ways to Die song I posted about yesterday I thought this article from 1912 was a pretty good example of a dumb way to die.

The Daily News 9 Apr 1912 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article79894307

Edward Dyon was the secretary of the Wildwood Campers and that makes me think that he had probably done a bit of wandering around in the outdoors in his lifetime. It makes me wonder then, why he didn’t pay a little more attention to where he was going when he started chasing a rabbit.

Clearly the rabbit had a pretty good escape plan, it headed for a cliff. Poor Edward Dyon didn’t end the chase in time and went over the edge, into a creek 40ft below, and was killed. Doh! 😉

An embarrassing end. 1932.

Somewhere out in a paddock in Moss Vale, N.S.W. there is an embarrassed ghost just wishing it had suffered a more dignified end.

The Western Champion 26 Nov 1932 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article79624698

In 1932 a bullock was found dead under strange circumstances.

It seemed that the bullock had an itchy head and, as quadrupeds do, lifted a rear foot to scratch it.

Unfortunately, the bullocks demise was attributed to being suffocated when it couldn’t extricate itself from this position, the hoof becoming caught on a horn.

Yes, I know we shouldn’t laugh about an unfortunate end like this but I really would love to know what went through the bullocks mind when it realized its own foot was stuck on its head….

Somehow, his time was up. 1906.

This is one of those old newspaper articles that make me howl with frustration. Bullock. Strange death. Hand of clock? What the?? Details people, details!!

Barrier Miner 7 Dec 1906 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article44520699

According to this tiny article a bullock was found dead in strange circumstances. When a post-mortem was done it was discovered that the long hand of an eight-day clock was found piercing its heart.

I say it again…. what the?? So many questions!

Where did the bullock and the clock meet? Grandfather clocks are not usually kept in the same environment as a bullock are they? Was the bullock wandering through the parlour when it tripped, crushed the clock and was mortally wounded? I think someone might have noticed that little incident though.

Just say that someone wanted to end the life of this bullock, I can think of a thousand things on a farm that would be more to hand than this particular weapon, couldn’t you? Aaaarrrggghhh!!

The light of her life. 1898.

We complain about all the rules and regulations that seem to control many aspects of our lives, but you have to admit that there are times when we should just shut up and be happy that OH&S makes our workplaces safer.

Warwick Examiner and Times 31 Aug 1898 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article82135480

A man belonging to the Matchmakers Union had died of necrosis and a representative of the union, Miss Thornton Smith, attended his home to pay his wife the funeral expenses.

The wife asked if Miss Thornton Smith would like to see the corpse. Hmmm… no thanks.

Miss Thornton Smith was clearly more polite than I would have been, and accompanied the wife upstairs for a viewing.

In true horror movie style, the opening of the door caused a draught, putting out the candle, and throwing them into darkness.

Cue suspenseful music……..

A faint yellow glimmer was seen in the corner and poor Miss Thornton Smith was horrified to realize that it was emanating from inside the coffin. The skin of the late matchmaker was glowing. Apparently all that yellow phosphorous he worked with never left him.

I wonder if this matchmaker glowed in the dark before his death? If so, he could be quite a handy thing to have around when the power goes out, which happens here quite often.

He would have been quite annoying to share a bedroom with, I think, since he came with his own built-in night-light. He would never step on foot-destroying Lego pieces in the dark though, would he?

Grasshopper woman. 1874.

Now here is a really strange story of the demise of an unfortunate woman.

In the 1870’s in the US a woman named Miss Boomershine had what was described as ‘an awkward habit’ of eating clay which she usually, and perhaps unwisely, obtained from the roadside.

Australian Town and Country Journal 28 Nov 1874 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article70486635

Unfortunately for her during that particular summer grasshoppers had swarmed in the local district, laying eggs everywhere as grasshoppers do. Obviously this didn’t deter Miss Boomershine from her clay eating habit, which turned out to be a real pity.

After eating this particular clay her craving for it subsided but other strange behaviours had begun.

She started nibbling on corn, leaves and weeds, things which were, predictably, just the type of things a grasshopper would be partial to. She also claimed she felt she could take wing and fly away.

Eventually the family called a doctor who said, unsurprisingly, he had never seen such a thing and that she must have been having some sort of mental hallucination.

She continued with her desire to fly until the day the grasshoppers had obviously eaten their fill and took to the air. She had a very restless morning watching the grasshoppers through the window then rushed out of the house, flapped her arms, rose about 10 feet in to the air then fell to the ground dead.

The doctor who diagnosed the mental hallucination then examined the body and revealed the fact that ‘within she was swarming with grasshoppers’. The article claims that the insects within poor Miss Boomershine had attempted to migrate with their outerworld brethren causing the strange behaviours and death of the unfortunate girl.

I was happy to go with the mental hallucination part of this article, a poor girl who had a clay-eating disorder (pica) perhaps associating the swarm of grasshoppers with the earthen substance she had eaten and convincing herself that she was being internally overcome by them. A dreadful story but one that I am sure mental health professionals would not be surprised at.

The other parts of the story made me wonder who on earth was reporting this event. Rushing outside, flapping her arms and actually flying for a short while? Her body being filled with grasshoppers? Really? Clearly we are not the only ones suspicious of this unlikely story. The headline is RATHER STRANGE – IF TRUE after all….

A Vision of Angels. 1924.

Townsville Daily Bulletin 20 May 1924 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article61148646

I wonder if Captain Webb was about to auction off a pair of ornamental angels or if this was a genuine otherworldly vision?

If at the time of this amazingly prophetic statement he was gesturing towards some angelic mantlepiece decorations this incident is less remarkable. Of course, if the next auction item was a pair of old boots and he was talking about something only he could see I am definitely interested!