Happy Mythical Birthday. 1930.

I know that one of you out there had a milestone birthday over the weekend. Happy Birthday to you! Because of you we can eat cake today, without guilt 😉

In honour of your birthday, (you know who you are) here are some extreme birthdays of mythical creatures.

The Canberra Times 8 May 1930 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article2299203

Unfortunately the animals mentioned at the end of the article; serpents 300 feet long, foxes with eight legs, monkeys with four ears and seven tails, and fishes with ten heads were only mentioned in passing. I would have liked to hear the rest of the beliefs attached to each of these fantastical beasts, especially after the birthday treats the tiger and fox deliver.

Apparently, on a tigers thousandth birthday it will turn white as a polar bear. Hmmmm… I think that there would be no other colour than grey on a tiger if it had managed to stay alive for that long!

Do you think this an explanation for the rare sightings of white tigers?

Another unusual birthday celebration is the fox who lives to be fifty years old without being chased by a dog. In the case of this unlikely event the fox will find itself transformed into a beautiful woman.

Right there is a farming opportunity for the future. Who needs dating websites when you can grow your own woman! (Redhead, doesn’t like dogs. Loves chickens).

Of course the rest of the myth means the lucky man won’t be stuck with a dog-hating woman for too long.

Once she hits 50 she will gain additional powers and change into a wizard. I hope the lucky man read the fine print on the contract, imagine the surprise to find your beautiful wife changed into a wizard one morning….

Luckily for the husband he won’t have to worry about his beloveds next transformation, he won’t be around when the wizard/wife turns a thousand and becomes a ‘celestial fox’ with, what I can only imagine is terribly inconvenient, nine golden tails.

Happy Birthday Meeks! Hopefully you will not grow an extra head or tail or two or find yourself turned into a wizard one morning. 😀

The World of Poo and birthday cakes. Not at the same time though!

Last week it was my birthday and in my family that means all of us getting together at Middle Sisters house for a birthday lunch over the weekend.

I thought I would post a picture of one of my presents and the birthday cake for your entertainment. My family knows me very well!

Thank to my bookish sister one present was books, including a Discworld title, Miss Felicity Beedle’s The World of Poo. This book added a new word to my vocabulary, gongeformer* and ensured an entertaining afternoon reading about a small boy on the Discworld, his poo collection, and his very understanding grandmother.

I am now trying to get number 1 son to read it, fortunately there is no fear of him taking it as a hint and starting his own collection…

As for the cake, I invite you to imagine how useful having a brother-in-law who is a pastry chef is. The candles were inserted (all credit to Middle Sister for that bit 😉 ) into a selection of yummy cupcakes that included puppet heads eagerly sought after by the kids. Actually we had to fight the ravening horde off to get a photo before they descended.

Thank you E___ for making sure your mum and dad decorated them correctly! 😀

And before you ask, yes, the other presents and celebrations were appropriate for an adult, these were just the most entertaining parts of the day!

Thank you family!

mmmmm…. yummy puppet heads…..

*A gongfermor (gong farmer) is the person Tudors called when the privy was full. Ewww…

Happy 165th birthday Bram Stoker.

Today is Bram Stoker‘s 165th birthday so I thought I would sneak in this amusing story about him as an extra post in celebration.

The West Australian 30 Dec 1933 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article32788075

Reportedly Bram was often pestered by people for money, parts or contacts, and on the stormy night in this tale he was approached for money by a desperate man seemingly dressed in nothing more than a rusty overcoat.

The man told Bram that he was at the end of his resources and if he didn’t get ten pounds right then he would jump off Waterloo Bridge and into the Thames.

Bram apparently glanced at the man and said;  ‘All right, my boy: I’m your man I’m tired of life, too. Wait till I get my coat and I’ll jump over with you.”

1 Year of Blogging, It’s My Birthday! Like I needed an excuse to eat cake…

Mirror 25 Sep 1937 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article75456978

Ok, not my birthday, but the birthday of Buried Words and Bushwa.

Over the year I have done 266 posts (and many deleted drafts). When I tentatively started this blog I would never have expected that I would still be enjoying doing it a year later. Who would have thought there would be so many strange things in those old newspapers?!

Once I have dropped the kids off at school today I will be off to the bakery to treat myself to a smackerel of something delicious. I don’t normally need an excuse to eat cake but today I actually have one.

Perhaps I should then follow the example set by the youngsters in this article and select a random house, invite some friends around and make a mess. 1937 was a different era though, wasn’t it? This article makes sure to note the terrible scandal of chocolate wrappers left in every bedroom.

Alternatively, I will take my cake, return to my own house, put on the jug and enjoy a bit of cake and a cup of tea for breakfast. Unhealthy, but delicious. I will raise my cup of tea to you wonderful readers, upon whose hits my blogging self-esteem hangs, and hope you keep reading for the next year as well!

No presents for him. 1932.

The West Australian 2 Mar 1932 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article32660154

The neighbour from hell award for 1932 is won by….drumroll please….this guy.

The neighbour who invites you around to his birthday and then lurks behind the door waiting to kill you with an axe is a shoe-in for this award. No barking dog or loud late-night parties can outdo a homicidal maniac.

How many other neighbours did he think he was going to do in before he got caught? Did the whole town get an invitation? I wonder if he turned up to the undertaker to place his order covered in blood? That is kind of a dead giveaway you are not having a traditional birthday party.