17 comments on “Stolen teeth. 1933.

  1. lol – I loved Hogfather the movie. I really have to revisit Terry Pratchett. As for the stolen teeth???? All I can think of is an insurance scam. I mean who would buy falsies off the back of a truck?

    • I love the way Sir Terry packages up his stories into something completely unexpected. I admit that I have long subscribed to the Susan method of parenting. “Of course there isn’t a monster under the bed, where would it fit? You have so much junk under there! Call me back when there is room for one. Goodnight.” It works. 🙂

      As for the stolen teeth, have you been to the dentist lately? I bet it was no more affordable in 1933. I can totally see a market for under the counter dental products! Not for me, ick, but I bet there are others out there who aren’t so sqeamish. 😉

      • The Daughter never thought she had monsters under her bed, they were just in her dreams 😦 Ah the joys of sleep deprivation. You’d think I’d be used to it.

        Ugh, I don’t even want to think about black market falsies. Dad struggled with false teeth late in his life and I have sworn a solemn oath I will never, ever get teeth that can fall out mid-sentence. 😦 So far I’m working hard on keeping my root canal treatments to a minimum :/

  2. Perhaps they were destined for another dentist who didn’t like the wholesale price back then. I hope none of you are mocking my beliefs in the Hogfather, toothfairies etc. I don’t want to lose any more of the small Gods.x

    • Definitely not mocking the small gods! They are the best ones to have. I have just come from worshipping Anoia in the kitchen. 🙂

    • Oh my, that is brilliant! I suppose Mr Macdonald and his ilk are the cause of the demise of many a tooth, falsies would be the logical conduit to them wouldn’t they 😀

  3. I love the line in the story that reads ” … took only artificial teeth of the best grade …”

    At least they were discriminating thieves who weren’t going to settle for stealing just any old artificial teeth they happened across.

    • 🙂
      I wonder what the difference was between high and low quality teeth? I quickly googled and found out that false teeth were being made from acrylic resins and plastics from the 20th century, replacing porcelain. I wonder which type were considered the low quality?

      • Probably pigs’ teeth. Or monkey teeth. Walking around with monkey teeth would definitely be considered low-quality. Although if I ever have to have replacement parts of any kind, I want them to be from an animal, so I can tell my wife I have an excuse for acting like a beast. She just rolls her eyes.

        • I never thought of that. You could have teeth for any occasion! Monkey teeth for annoying the wife and freaking out the kids, pigs teeth for dinnertime, and those giant baboon teeth for halloween.

  4. Odontophobia: Fear of teeth, dental surgery, dentists, anything related to those nasty little calciferous monsters. Who has it? This girl. I honestly almost passed out while watching a documentary on the history of anesthesia. Who’s a dork? Yep. Right here. And I loved every minute of it and no, I won’t apologize. In any case, turns out that anesthesia (in addition to getting one really, really high) was an important part of dentistry. Prior to nitrous oxide, when you needed a root canal, they’d just have big strapping Bruno press you into the chair while Dr. Horrible got down and dirty with a pair of rusty pliers. Actually, they wouldn’t even bother with a root canal. They’d just yank the offender out and send you home with one of those goofy handkerchiefs tied around your head like you were an ancillary character in a Popeye cartoon. So, really, I loved every minute of the documentary aside from the thirty spent in a cold sweat attempting to dig a hole to China via my corner of the sofa.

    There are very specific things I hate about teeth. I hate the roots of teeth. It would be okay if there weren’t spikes in our gums to anchor the little brats to our jaws. Ew. Just…ick. Also, the fact that a missing tooth leaves an empty “socket.” I’m a bit of a word nerd and the word “socket” in the context of an open, bleeding hole in the gums…yeah. That word is just too graphic and disturbing. Socket. Ugh. Just typing it makes the hair on my arms snap to attention. Nerves. There are little, tiny, pulpy (another upsetting word related to dentistry – pulp) strings inside these awful growths that, once their shell has eroded, feel like throbbing, hateful, frayed electrical cords just waiting to catch fire and burn the house down.

    I’ve already informed my husband that he’s the tooth fairy in this house. He threatens to have the girls come show me each and every one of their loose teeth (Dear God, what kind of awful reality do we live in where we’re forced to celebrate the squishy rocking back and forth of a tiny little tooth in the pink, slippery gums of our children?), and to buy me this for my birthday:


    I need several root canals. I know because my mouth feels like it’s full of broken glass. But the last time I went to a dentist he refused to turn the nitrous oxide up past three (on a scale of one to ten) and insisted that, “You can’t really feel it.” Not sure how he entered my consciousness, but I’m giving him a big fat F in Empathy. “It’s just nerves.” Yes. You’re right. Raw, screaming, exposed nerves that you’ve cracked my tooth open to expose and which you’re now about to rip out with a tiny hook. Thanks for the reminder. “I had an eight year old in here the other day who only needed one shot of Procaine.” You can’t shame me into feeling bad about needing more. Suffice it to say I felt everything and was in pain for days afterward, both physical and emotional. Oh, and he doesn’t like to prescribe painkillers because there are too many meth heads around these parts who like to scam him for scripts. So I got to enjoy it without even the reward of a tiny, legitimate buzz afterward.

    It disturbs me that anyone would steal teeth, or the effigy of teeth, and I can only assume that their purposes were nefarious at best. Logically, they were more than likely stolen with the goal of turning a profit. In my odontophobic head, they were stolen with the specific purpose of torturing some poor soul like me. I shudder to think.

    • Until the start of this year I had not been to the dentist in about a bajillion years. I have a really high pain threshold so it wasn’t the though of the pain it was just…. shudder…. the whole dentisty thing was too much for me, NO dentist!
      Your comment has not helped in any way in making me want to actually attend my next appointment, so no thanks at all for that! Yes, the word ‘socket’ and an empty hole in my mouth DO NOT go together well. That horrible soft gap is just awful…..

      On the plus side, when the kids lose their first teeth they don’t really have much in the way of roots so you won’t be too grossed out by them. The little suckers can be wobbly for ages though, number 1 has had teeth that have been wobbly for months. Number 2 got so bored with hearing about one of them when he was small he gave his brother a thump in the mouth to ‘help it along’. It worked and the tooth came out immediately. Trying to keep a straight face I told him never to do something like that again and thanked my lucky stars I wouldn’t have to hear about the bloody thing again!

      The Man is the biggest needle wuss I have ever seen. When he goes to the dentist for something big I have to pick him up and drop him off and we all stay out of his way for the rest of the day. If I have to go and I drive myself and go to the shops to get something for dinner on the way home. Ahhh, I love being able to taunt him with this 🙂

      The teeth in that link are just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. I’m all for personal adornment involving the macabre, I’m very guilty of owning too many things with skulls on them, but an extracted tooth bracelet? Just no. I don’t care how fake they are. Just no.

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