It has been a long time since I have done a police incident post, I love these little historical peeks into the lives of the badly behaved. The crimes committed and the language used by the reporters is just wonderful.
After I started writing this post I realized that some of you might not know about Australia’s convict heritage, so, just in case, here is my potted version of how many of our not too distant ancestors became Aussies.
In the late 1700’s the British noticed that there were far too many members of the criminal lower class cluttering up their country. They decided the best place to keep them would be as far away as possible. Fortunately for them just the thing they needed was hanging around, unloved, in the back of the Empire’s cupboard, Australia!
The ships of the First Fleet arrived in 1788 bringing 751 convicts, and over the next 80 years more than 160,000 convicts became reluctant Australians.
Many convicts were transported for extremely minor crimes, stealing chickens, bread etc, although I can proudly say both my Great Great Great Grandfather and Grandmother were transported for individual counts of highway robbery. They both seemed to spend more time in court after transportation than before though, clearly being sent to the other side of the planet was no encouragement to good behaviour!
Once the convicts arrived in Melbourne, Sydney or Van Diemens Land (Tasmania) they were not imprisoned for the rest of their terms, they were mainly assigned to free settlers to work until they earned a ticket-of-leave.
It was hardly surprising than that since they were being used as what was effectively forced labour most of them misbehaved at every opportunity. The authorities came up with some interesting punishments for the badly behaved though. Apart from fines they were regularly sentenced to time in the stocks or whippings. Women were often sent to the Female Factories and men to the tread wheel. I have done a post in the past about the tread wheel if you are interested in reading more. Female factories were exactly that. Factory-like workhouses for women who were either awaiting assignment, childbirth or being punished.
From what I can tell from my readings these punishments were not much of a deterrent. I am sure they were far from enjoyable, but many of the offenders seem to return to the same courtroom time and time again. Take the first man in this 1832 article, Phillip King. He is described as ‘an old veteran in the path of disobedience’. Clearly the seven days sentence to the (tread)mill wasn’t his first time, obviously the tobacco he bought with the money made from selling his masters stolen brooms was worth the punishment.
This article really helps you to see what life in the lower classes might have been like in Australia in 1832. When you read it see if you can work out what all the slang terms really mean. I absolutely love the slang used in the past so any of you who put in an effort will earn my eternal admiration and a smiley face stamp on the back of your hand as soon as I run down to the newsagent and get one. 🙂 (just post me your hand and I will stamp it and send it right back).
Some other police incident or historical Australian slang posts I have done are;
Bouncible and handing out the rhino
Bobbery, Toggery and a bird’s eye fogle, killingly twisted about his weasen
Bombastes Furioso and Lady Barrymore in a slouched castor. 1832.
The Sydney Herald 16 Jan 1832 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article12843968
*If you would like to read other details about the convict years have a look here.
Buried words and Bushwa. 
Is it any wonder we’re such an anti-authoritarian, larrikin mob?
I love that the most enterprising, nimble-fingered and brave [yes brave!] people were hand-picked to come here. We may have been the dregs of society back then but I think all those qualities have made us who we are now. And I like the aussie spirit.
I can’t believe that they thought sending the worst of the ratbag element to colonize a far away land was going to go well for those in authority!
One of my favourite quotes is;
A few years ago we colonised this place with some of our finest felons, thieves, muggers, alcoholics and prostitutes, a strain of depravity which I believe has contributed greatly to this country’s amazing vigour and enterprise.
Ian Wooldridge – English.
‘amazing vigour and enterprise’. Yes, I very much like that.
This was hilarious…both your post and the article! No better way to start a morning! 🙂 (By the way, that’s one very fun family tree! Some of the greatest Emperors in history would claim similar ones! :P)
One wonders why anybody would need to read any sort of creative writing if newspapers were so fun to read!
As for Australia’s “criminal” history it would seem some of the coolest places to be today were created thanks to the Empire and its desire to create little (other) pockets of criminality around the world! What can we say … hail, imperialism, I guess! 😛 Lol!
Thank you! Glad I could put a smile on your face 😀
The family tree certainly has its share of ratbags 🙂 One Great Great Grandfather was transported for stealing chickens only to become even more ratbaggy once here, helping his employer running illegal alcohol was only one of the things I found him charged with!
Others came out as respectable hardworking people looking for a new life. It amazes me that these two extremes ever came together for me to be sitting here today!
Some of those crime reporters were frustrated novelists I’m sure! Not all of them wrote in such an amusing way unfortunately. I really wish they reported in a similar way nowadays 🙂
It does appear that England sent away many of their best to far away lands. Lucky us, eh! 😉 Many of them still think that calling us convicts is an insult though, they obviously don’t realize that the days of us being anything but proud of that are long past!
I’m feeling inspired to dig into some of New York’s more colorful, criminal histories.
Thanks!
I’d love to know what you find out! I get the feeling that the crime reports were treated by some in the same way we treat the reports of misbehaving sports people these days.
Loved this post and the article. How fantastic that someone in a newspaper could be described as a ‘drunken little trollop’, ‘high in bone but low in flesh’ or ‘an out and outer in the wars of Bacchus’. Fabulous stuff. I laughed out loud at the image of Sarah Dawson sitting in a small pool of water in the centre of the street and having to be sent to the stocks to dry off. Though it seemed slightly harsh punishment for, um, merely sitting in a puddle 😉 You’ve made my day.
So glad to hear it 🙂 These reports certainly are amusing. One of my favourite police report posts was ‘Bouncible and handing out the rhino’, in it Sarah Sutcliff was described as ‘an ungrateful hussy, with the rotundity of a rum puncheon’. No political correctness there!
These descriptions really bring the people to life don’t they? You can almost imagine the mayhem going on in the streets if this small snapshot of life is any indication.
Thanks for commenting 🙂