Here is another post about the words our family use as a substitute for what we really mean…..
Household Lingo No 2.
Monkeys is used a lot here, I have only recently realized how much!
If the kids are being too noisy I will grumpily call out ‘shut your monkeys!’ or ‘zip your monkey!’ This is me telling them that they are sounding like monkeys who need to be quieter or risk being turfed out the door to play outside in the trees. It is a polite way of saying SHUT UP!
Number 1 son used monkey yesterday (prompting this post) and completely cracked me up even though he was using it as a substitute for swearing.
We had taken the dog for a walk to the river and were dropping in at the shop on the way home. No 1 had waited in the car with the dog. As we walked back to the car with our booty I unlocked it with the remote. Clearly No 1 wasn’t aware we were returning, and the unexpected noise of all the doors unlocking was quite a shock. As I sat down in the driver’s seat all I heard was ‘wow, you scared the monkeys out of me!’ My brain suddenly filled with an image of a group of tiny, terrified monkeys pouring out from under his t-shirt and fleeing for their lives through the open car door!
Son number 2 even blames the night monkey when night-time mischief gets him in trouble. On the left is his picture of the night monkey in a landscape of floating and mysterious buildings. His shadowy tail is only visible in the dark by the light of his evilly glowing eyes.
We also use monkey to remind the kids that they need to stop jumping around; ‘sit down monkey’, to let them know that their antics are amusing us; ‘you funny monkey’…. hmmm…. actually, we use it for everything!