Hardcore Juliet.

I expect that you have probably already seen this clip that did the rounds some time ago. Nevertheless, I am going to force it on you again anyway because it is so damn cute.

My first hardcore song by Juliet, an eight-year-old Aussie girl, is possibly the only song that will get both the most rabid metal fan and the most anti-metal person going ‘awwww….’ simultaneously.

Also, the clip has a trampoline mosh pit populated with stuffed toys. There isn’t a kid (or possibly adult) in the world who wouldn’t want to be part of that.

Explosive Octopus. 1948.

The print for this article is a bit hard to read, apologies, but I love it when I find an article with a title like that. Explosive Octopus. It just doesn’t get any better, does it?

Barrier Miner 14 Sep 1948 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article48572592

Today we are joining a group of kids out for a bit of fishing at the end of the school holidays in 1948.

I expect they had no real aim that day except to have fun, and that’s just as well because their prize couldn’t really be taken home to mum for dinner.

Their catch? A grenade bearing octopus. Eeek!

You regular readers know what happens if she puts one of them in the oven, don’t you? It just can’t end well, can it?

I think these boys showed remarkable restraint. Generally when I find articles about kids and explosives they involve the kids doing some sort of damage to the explosive, and often being damaged in return.

I wonder how long this octopus had been clinging on to the grenade? Just as well it didn’t work out how it pull the pin, wasn’t it!

Neuroscientist explains how to stimulate young brains – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

I know this isn’t the sort of thing I usually post about, but I don’t usually post on the weekend either so here it is anyway….

This is something I found on the ABC news website yesterday morning, and as it is something that is close to my heart I thought I would share it with you.

It is an interview with a neuroscientist, and in it she talks about the best way to stimulate young brains and get them in the best shape for learning later in their lives.

Neuroscientist explains how to stimulate young brains – ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)

Happiness, to the bitter end. 1937 (and 2012).

Western Mail 30 Sept 1937 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article38696902

Happiness is something that doesn’t just happen to you, you have to put in a bit of effort yourself, to be open to it. The more you look for happiness the more of it you will find.

Happiness is scared of miserable people, and avoids them wherever possible.

I love the way this 1937 article puts it, that happiness is a light, and we may keep it burning if we will.

I have started this post by writing nicely about happiness in order to butter you up, so you will keep reading when this post degenerates into a fart joke.

When we go camping the kids and I always end up playing Go Fish over and over. Often it ends in some kind of battle scenario where someone has won too many times, annoying the other two of us to the point where we gang up on that one to ensure they are taken down.

Over Easter weekend we were playing and I was out, leaving the two boys to battle to the death over the last few cards. I started doing a commentary on them, and to get the full effect, please read this next bit in a deep, monster-truck announcer style voice. So here we are, number one and number two, battling it out to the bitter end. Who. Will. Win?!

They are little boys, so when they started laughing at my commentary naturally one of them let out a bit of stray wind, making them laugh even harder. I tried to look sternly at them, as a mother should, then, through his laughter number two spluttered ‘that was my bitter end’ dissolving us all into hysterics.

You see, on the outside I might be a grown woman, but not so deep down inside I am really a twelve-year-old tomboy.

From now on I can tell that every time someone uses the term ‘the bitter end’ around us we are going to flash back to Go Fish out in the bush and a farting nine-year-old…..

It is the small things that make us happy :)

The Easter Chocolate Massacre 2012.

As promised, son number 2 finally carted his Chocolate vampire zombie bunny, and a series of terrified Lego men, out to the front lawn to set up a massacre.

It was a hilariously funny afternoon, and I apologize if the photos aren’t of the expected standard. We spent so much time laughing and knocking everything over that the sun nearly melted the chocolate before the Lego men had a chance to do the bunny in themselves.

We started with the customary ‘run for your lives’ scene, but I noticed that the Lego men were heavily armed. I knew then that they wouldn’t be running for long and that it would soon turn into a bloodbath er, fondue?

ruuuun!!

It wasn’t long before the tide of battle changed, one Lego man delivering the killing blow and impaling the bunny with a mighty leap. (Actually, the boys got hungry watching all that chocolate and couldn’t wait for the smashing to begin.)

The death-blow

Of course, war does strange things to a person, as evidenced by this Lego man gouging out the bunnies eye with a spear and holding it aloft. I was pleased to see that the other Lego man had a suitably shocked look on his face.

"the sarge aint gonna like this"

I didn’t notice the expression on the man in the background until I was about to press the button. It was so funny I nearly dropped my camera, and it took me some time to stop laughing and actually get the shot.

We finished with the traditional ‘to the victor goes the spoils’ scene, with the eye-gouger still holding his trophy, and obviously in need of counselling.

Lego rules, OK.

You will be pleased to know that the corpse was not wasted, and was partially eaten before it even made it back into the house.

Chocolate Vampire Zombie Bunny….

This is what the boys wanted from the Easter Bunny. They had seen them at the local shops and thought they were hilarious.

They were fully aware that the poor rabbits weren’t meant to look like undead blood-suckers but after the first time they saw them they could be nothing else. The way the white chocolate teeth had been hastily applied made them look like fangs, and the dreadful white and dark chocolate eyes staring off in different directions could only belong to the undead. Bless those hurried Chinese production line workers.

When they got up on Sunday morning to find two of these chocolate vampire zombie bunnies standing in a puddle of proper shiny foil wrapped eggs they cracked up.

I have been commissioned by son number 2 to take a photo of his rabbit after he finishes putting together a suitable number of lego men looking terrified and creates a scene of monster chocolate bunny wreaking terror upon the innocent.

Not the kind of Easter egg anyone wants their kid to find.

In the past I have often posted old articles about children and their encounters with explosives. Those kids are usually either playing with something that they didn’t realize was likely to kill them or had inexplicably been given a small bomb to play with by their loving (?) parents.

You can imagine how delighted I was yesterday to find this article on the Herald-Sun news website continuing that tradition.

Click on this link to read about an unexpected find on an Easter egg hunt. British child finds hand grenade on Easter egg hunt | Herald Sun. Clearly this child doesn’t have older brothers. If he had, he would have immediately recognized the grenade for what it was and either run for his life or thrown it at something he wanted to see go bang.

Monster worms are no good at brushing their teeth!

I don’t usually post on the weekend but I thought I would share another tale of the perils of having two young sons.

*not representative of real son

Good imaginations and an ongoing monster obsession means that at any time they may transform into some sort of dangerous beast. Dealing with these unexpected creatures can be very amusing.

Tonight I was called upon to extract from the bathroom what I was told was a fanged, blood-sucking, man-eating worm. The monster was trying to eat his brother instead of doing his teeth. Once I subdued him he turned on me, pointed an accusing finger, shouted ‘BETRAYER!’ and scuttled into the bedroom to put on his pj’s.

I love having funny kids.

More kids and bombs. 1933.

The Sydney Morning Herald 13 Jul 1933 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article16990781

Here is another lot of kids playing with something better left well alone.

Those Mills bombs seemed to be pretty popular with kids didn’t they? I expect that it was because they were easily souvenired by men returning from the war.

Still, having seen the effects of a bomb first-hand, you would think that they would be unlikely to pack one into their bag for the trip home, and even less likely to give them to children!

I wonder if the policeman that commented that the bomb was unlikely to go off ‘unless subjected to unusual violence’ had sons? I doubt it. I have lovely and gentle boys, but when they are playing a battle game things definitely take a turn for the worse!

A boy, a magnifying glass and fireworks. A recipe for disaster! 1936..

The Advertiser 28 Apr 1936 http://nla.gov.au/nla.news-article35427469

Some kids use a magnifying glass to investigate the world. Some use one to bring fiery death to ants. Others, like this kid, take their destruction to a higher level and use it to ignite the fuse of an explosive.

I expect this is something most boys are guilty of, only looking for entertainment and not really thinking things through. What did he really expect would happen? Did he not notice that he was standing on the other side of a large pane of glass? I think he and his friends were lucky that the glass was tougher than the back of the display.

I wasn’t sure what a basket bomb was and in my searches in the internets I was unable to find a picture of one, only the description of them being a ‘powerful cane-bound explosive’. I did find another news article dated 1937 titled ‘Fireworks Must Be Banned In The Future’, describing the destruction one was capable of. Apparently they were powerful enough to ‘rend a solidly framed iron letterbox to shreds’. Eeek! I wouldn’t want to be standing on the other side of the glass, that’s for sure!